Giraffe.

It was quite the weekend that happened. Attended Sarah's wedding on Saturday. A cute atmosphere happening right there. Though, admittedly, what I assumed is Sarah's pastor, was a bit going in circle. Didn't helped that I'd slept late on Friday, so was struggling to stay awake for a few short moments. And the speech that both of them gave... I had to fight back my tears really. Guess it just struck a chord with me.

And that morning, it still felt kind of surreal. Seeing you there. I was expecting you to be there. I mean, it is Sarah's wedding and I know you wouldn't miss it for no good reasons. And I must say, you look really good that day. You look beautiful. Seeing you seated so close, standing there, your big-small eyes, the shade of lipsticks. I felt dumbfounded. That fluttering feeling I felt once again. You looked radiant, happy even. And deep down, I was glad to see you there, smiling, laughing. And I know you had no reason to talk to me or even acknowledged me, but that last exchange of looks, the seemingly gentle yet a hint of sarcastic/pained smile, the ever slight nod, had me filling my head with thoughts of you again.

Now, today, as the the digital time on the top right corner of my screen reaches 23:00. There's a bittersweet feeling lost in the whirls of sadness and heartache. It aches, thinking back to how we started, those happy moments that we shared. And me foolishly thinking that maybe, perhaps, there's a slight slim chance of us getting back together. Maybe, we could make it all work again? But I had to remind myself over and over again why it ended. Why we parted ways. The differences we had. It was great. The time we shared, it was short and fleeting. Our space, which we lacked. I was childish.

And I realise now that it hurts. Even more so when I saw you again yesterday. It was painful for me when we broke up over the text messages. Tearing non-stop I took the train Jurong bound from Outram. After a while, I thought I was okay. Okay to move on. But now, it seems I was only lying to myself. I was simply running away. This sadness and guilt that I'd let you down when you had such great expectations and hope. I'm so, so sorry.

I thought I was ready to see you again. But. I guess I still need more time. It must have been really hard on you back when we broke up. And I'm really really sorry for that.

After the wedding, headed over to my cousin's. Playing that short amount of Uncharted 4, made me really feel like getting a TV and PS4 for myself. Maybe I could consider it once my brother moves out, and there's more space in the room? I'm sure I'll be able to fit a TV somewhere in the room.