The Past & Now

Suddenly, I have this urge to blog. Upon hearing the song from FFIX, theme from Dali Village, had this overwhelming rush of emotions. Doesn't really help when you're looking at blogs you haven't seen for such a long time. I'm waiting for photos to be uploaded by the way.

Suddenly, looking at those blogs/livejournals... I realised why I was with them. I realised that they were such a fun bunch of people. Maybe it's due to stress, or maybe it's just me, that they've change a little? Then, there's some whom I've seen the whole truth. For who they truly are. Somethings just never change.

I've come to realised too, that many things have changed since last year, when I joined Yishun JC. Change. It's the only constant in life. The Past. Everything just seemed so much better in the Past. Growing up now, does not seem so much of a pleasure anymore. Somehow, now, this feeling I have inside of me, it's just unexplainable. Dread, perhaps? Or rather sadness & sorrow? Maybe it's just that I've lost my Will & fighting spirit. Maybe I'm just weakening, rotting from the inside out. (Now, that have set me thinking, what will life be like after?) Will I survive today to live another day? So many questions, so little answers. I know they're lying deep down inside me, but, they've sunk so deep I can't seem to reach them. Wish I could just turn bad, let my anger & hatred overtake me, let me sin. Then, at least I won't have such a mixture of emotions... It's just so overwhelming.

So, eating grapes now, blogging. Viewed through the gigabytes of photos. Looking at my family photo. I love you, mum. And I love you too, dad, no matter how rude I may appear to you. To the ODAC people, you guys have been such an excellent support for my JC2 life. To 4E2 legacy, it WILL remain a legend, forever. To everyone else, thanks for all the small little things that you've done. It helps a lot...